


The Little Things

by fauxcorona



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Confessions, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-20 23:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18133826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauxcorona/pseuds/fauxcorona
Summary: It’s the little things that made you realize that you were in love with Harry Hart. But love does turn into longing, and embracing feelings does turn into searching signs.





	The Little Things

“You got this. Don’t worry, Guinevere. You’re very thorough and I believe you.”

For the first time in your life, you felt reassuring words really work on you. All your life, especially as a Kingsman agent, you’ve been listening to your own voices in your head. Life was tough—and tougher since being the only female Kingsman had been leading you to always want to prove you’re capable of everything—and listening to your own kind voices felt like the right thing to do.

But it was not until you were assigned to a very difficult and dangerous solo mission—probably the most difficult one so far. You were a complete mess, and talking to yourself wasn’t enough. People went by showing their concerns and simple encouragements.

But when it came to Harry Hart, that’s when it hit you. You were brought back to your rationality out of his sensible, wise suggestions. You felt compassion out of his reassuring words.

For the first time, you felt really sure how to carry on with difficult things, with the help from outside yourself. And so, for the first time, you felt your heart warm and open after so long; that was the moment you realize you fell in love with Harry Hart.

But you didn’t want to give in to your sentiments easily. You wanted to seek and prove if it was really love that you felt, not merely a moment of relief in your most stressful times.

 

It was when your mission had ended, and a debrief session came afterwards with Arthur and other agents, including Galahad. Your mission had been successful—you managed to retrieve the information you needed—but Arthur wasn’t pleased because you ended up killing the target. He was furious, no matter how you tried to explain that you were doing it in attempt to self-defense. Even other agents sitting around the table was silent, unable to say anything and not risking to argue due to Arthur’s temper, making you the only person that stood against his absurd judgements. Only you. It was so intense that you almost lose your sanity; you put your life on the mission, you killed to survive, and hearing Arthur’s comments in that debrief session made you feel like your world started to tumble down.

You looked down, feeling your eyes starting to tear up. You swallowed the pain, dared yourself to lookup again, and your eyes found a spot that you wished you had seen all this time during the debrief.

Harry, giving you a concerned look and a small smile, mouthing ‘ _you did great_ ’ to you, sitting next to Arthur on the front right of you.

That’s when you found a moment of peace. A flash of serenity. In this hell of a situation. A moment so slight but powerful enough to make you carry on. The kind of warmth you felt from the first time you acknowledge your feelings for him suddenly resurfaced, confirming it. Your heart was open once more, and that’s it—you realized you were really in love with Harry Hart.

 

At first, after you fully acknowledge your adoration towards him, you didn’t really expect anything from him. You consciously embraced your tender and sometimes bubbly feelings for him, and it was enough;

You started to like the feelings of being excited to go to work just because it means you’re going to find him there at the tailor shop. You started to admit how it felt like going home when you saw him again after so long, at the HQ when you returned from a mission.

Your love for him were manifested into warm, constructive feelings that kept you carry on with life. And it was enough.

 

But love does turn to longing, and embracing feelings does turn to searching signs. That’s when these feelings turned into pain—but still a beautiful one, you thought.

You started to find it hard to go through weekends—the two days in a week of personal life, which means a life without his presence. It came to the days when you realize that you and Harry had become inseparable;

You had become the first person he go to for advices. Almost after every debrief session, he went straight to you, asking where you’re planning to have lunch and see if he could come along. The same went with dinners. You were the first person he asks to offer some coffee during overtimes with the crew.

You had become his first go-to in almost everything, and it meant the world to you. You could tell that it was a mere companionship—even if it was something that was special and quite rare in Kingsman—but you couldn’t help but wonder if those things mean anything to him. Or to put it precisely—if those things mean _something_ to him.

And now, with the love turning to pain and being potentially destructive from wondering and searching signs, you’ve decided to see this through.

He had to know. Harry had to know everything about this.

 

One day you walked into your office at the HQ, determined to prepare yourself before meeting Harry at his office and bluntly telling him the truth. But before you even finished preparing, you noticed an envelope lying on the top of your desk.

 _To Guinevere_ , it said, written in a nifty handwriting you knew so well.

_I’m sorry I had to leave for an emergency case regarding Richmond Valentine. I know that today’s your birthday and it’s truly a shame that we couldn’t celebrate together. Accordingly, let me replace birthday gifts and celebrations with my personal acknowledgement of your existence that I’ve always been grateful for._

You even forgot that it was your birthday, and yet here you are receiving the most thoughtful present in your life. You felt tears running down your cheeks as you read Harry’s letter, funnily enough his acknowledgement mentioned the small things you do that he found meaningful, the same way you had been treasuring him all this time. You finally reached near the bottom of the page, and that’s when you found yourself unable to breathe;

_My feelings will not be repressed. I hope you don’t mind if I tell you how ardently I admire and love you._

_I hope you wouldn’t find it rude that I confess through this small written piece. I did intend to say these all to you as we celebrate after work, but emergency duties told me otherwise. And I thought it’d be better to leave this here right on this day than to say it late._

_I love you, Y/N. Take care, and once again happy birthday._

 

Storming off, you made your way to the tech room where Merlin works. You were sure that Harry must be in a live teleconference right now with the HQ whilst doing his mission. You knew you couldn’t interrupt him in the middle of his mission, but you thought you just wanted to say hi and let him know that you’ve received the letter.

Slamming the door open, the first thing you saw was the big main screen, showing nothing but white—though you weren’t sure if it was white or just a very bright light, like the sun light in the skies. The next thing was Merlin, slouching on his seat, putting his glasses back on after massaging his forehead.

“Merlin?” you asked, walking slowly towards him.

“Is Harry there?”

He stayed silent, and his tired eyes that were looking at you suddenly began to get watery for reasons you didn’t know.

Your heart sunk, but you didn’t want to believe it. You didn’t want to believe if those were really tears on Merlin’s eyes and whatever the possible reasons behind them.

Until you glanced at the second monitor, the one where it shows the physical status of the linked field agent.

 

_DECEASED_

And a flat line.

 

“That’s—that’s not Harry, is it? You’re monitoring another agent, right?”

Merlin’s expression fell further, and instead of saying anything, he moved a little so you could see the agent identity at the bottom of the second monitor.

 

_GALAHAD_

 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You wanted to cry. You wanted to be angry. You wanted to punch the nearest walls. You wanted to scream, and you had all the reasons in this world to do so.

But instead, with shaky breaths and trembling limbs, you walked towards Merlin. You went past him and reached the control table, leaning down to the microphone. You pressed the button and cleared your throat, trying to find the right words to speak.

“Y/N, what are you doing? It’s too late—”

 

“Hello Harry,” you spoke to the microphone, ignoring Merlin and silencing him from stopping you.

“I have received your letter, and this is the most beautiful present ever.” your voice was shaking in the slightest, very slight Merlin couldn’t believe how tough you could be in such tragic moment.

“Thank you for sharing this with me. I love you, too.”

 

Those were your last words to Harry. At least those were what you hoped they would be. You spent the rest of the morning crying on Merlin’s shoulder, with once in a while you glanced at the monitor just to see any sign of life even if it’s impossible.

“You’re strong, Y/N. You’re very strong. Now I know why Harry likes you so much,” Merlin mused, recalling how tough your first reactions were as you had turned calmer and calmer from crying, with him still caressing your back. “He likes his woman strong,” he added. You smiled, couldn’t help but think that’s how exactly you remembered Harry; he’s the reason you got better and stronger, day by day.

 

“It’s never too late, Merlin.” said to him, glancing back at the monitors that still showed a bright white.

“I knew my chances were small, but I knew he could hear me. I just knew that.” you smiled at the monitor in front of you, at the knowing of how Harry was too good to die—not in an absolutely mournful way, but instead, you knew he was too good to die, he must’ve heard you. Somehow, someway.

**Author's Note:**

> As I wrote this piece, I reflected on my personal experiences. I had so much unspoken feelings myself, and writing this was a part of an attempt to sort out my mind and get things off my chest. To me, it feels relieving and liberating to be able to put them into words and fit it into a story. So yeah, the background of this story was quite personal. I hope you liked it :)
> 
> PS. A reference to Pride & Prejudice included, because let's face it--Harry Hart is a kind of man who would confess in a Darcy-like style (with a little modification), don't you think? ;)


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